Jokes Collection

Jokes have great effects on human daily routines. They could turn sadness into happiness; cry into smiles; broken hearted into healing. That's what they do! Below are just a handful that are found to be amusing and unexpected. If you have funny of your favorites, please share.

 

NO1. The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

NO2. Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

NO3. Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

NO4. Clever kids: 

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

NO 5. Circus Candidature

A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked:
“What do you know?”
The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones.
The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase?
“Painkiller!”

NO 6. Grammar class

 The teacher asks Jim:
T: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
J: “I don’t has a pencil.”
T: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
J: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

 

NO 7. Counting Numbers

Teacher: “Let me hear how far you can count.”
Jimmy: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king.”

 

 NO 8. Just a dream

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.
Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”
Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”
Wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

 NO 9. Phone chats

There was a couple…the lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.
End of every month they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this.
One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang..
The lady’s reaction was immediate…she ran to the phone and started chatting..
After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.
The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesn’t hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquired…was she busy to hang up so early???
No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..